


Don't Say You Love Me, Don't Say Goodbye

by butterflyslinky



Category: Atop the Fourth Wall, The Spoony Experiment
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-06-07 22:09:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6826729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butterflyslinky/pseuds/butterflyslinky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There were words on everyone’s skin somewhere. Ordinary words, normal words, words of great poetry and words of import to no one but the person who read them. They all meant one thing: goodbye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Say You Love Me, Don't Say Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Based on one of those Tumblr AUs, basically just an excuse to get me back to writing things besides Denny’s Court.

There were words on everyone’s skin somewhere. Ordinary words, normal words, words of great poetry and words of import to no one but the person who read them.

Everyone knew what they were. Soulmarks, with the last words your soulmate would ever say to you. A cruel joke of the universe, not letting you know who your perfect match was until it was over.

The lucky ones got unique words, huge declarations of poetry so that at least they would _know._

Most people, though, got normal words. “Okay.” “Have a nice day.” “I’ll see you tomorrow.” “Don’t wait up.” “Thank you.” Everyday sentences that could be said by anyone, and you’d never know who it was meant to be.

All that anyone knew was that no matter what the words were, they all meant one thing.

They all meant goodbye.

*

Linkara’s wrist had shown the same words since he was born.

“I love you.”

He supposed he was lucky, in a way. He doubted he was going to get many declarations of love in his life, and at least he knew that whoever his partner was would leave him still loving him.

But more than lucky, Linkara was terrified. There was no way of knowing whether that “I love you” would be the first time he heard it or the tenth time or the last time.

It made relationships difficult. The girls he’d dated in high school and college were all so easy with it, all so eager to say it, not knowing what his wrist said. But none of them said those words last, so he felt like he was at least clear.

Or he felt like he was clear until he met Spoony.

Linkara couldn’t explain it, but he just felt drawn to the other man. Maybe they just had a lot in common, or maybe it was something deeper. Either way, he knew that Spoony was something special.

*

“Linkara…” Spoony’s voice was breathless, his skin burning under Linkara’s hands. “Linkara, I…”

“No,” Linkara said, kissing him again. “Don’t get sappy.”

Spoony laughed a bit. “You just hate it when I express emotions,” he muttered.

“You expressing emotions often leads to explosions,” Linkara said. “I’d rather avoid that right now.”

“Oh, you know what I can make explode?”

Linkara bit him on the shoulder. “That one was so bad I should just leave.”

“But you won’t,” Spoony said.

*

“Why won’t you let me say it?” Spoony asked later that night as he curled into Linkara’s chest.

Linkara looked at him. “You didn’t notice?” he asked.

Spoony stared for a moment before he suddenly understood. “Of course I noticed,” he said. “I mean…it’s on your wrist.”

“Exactly.” Linkara tightened his grip on Spoony’s waist. “I don’t…I don’t want you to say goodbye.”

“But…” Spoony swallowed. “Most people have normal things…you don’t know this is goodbye.”

“Maybe not this time,” Linkara said. “But next time. The time after…I never want to hear it from you. Because I already know. You don’t have to say it…I don’t want you to say it. Not until I’m ready to let you go.”

“You’re never going to be ready.”

Linkara blinked back tears. “I know.”

Spoony shifted. “You’ve seen mine, haven’t you?” he asked.

“Yeah.” Linkara’s hands absently traced over Spoony’s back. “But they aren’t normal everyday things…I can avoid that as long as possible.”

“But if we never say it, we’ll never know.”

“If we never say it, we’ll never say goodbye.”

*

Another super battle. Another mission to save the world. Another afternoon that Insano was messing up for him.

It was routine. It was normal. It kept Linkara busy, and really, what else could he ask for? Afterwards, he’d deliver Insano back to Spoony as usual, maybe spend the night…

And there it was. Insano always meant Spoony, and the more Linkara saw Spoony, the more likely that the words would slip out and the more likely it was that those word would be the end of it.

The fact that the superbattles had gotten more frequent since Linkara and Spoony had started seeing each other had to be a coincidence, right? Or was Insano trying to trigger a reaction? Trying to make them say words that meant goodbye?

There was no way Insano could know what Linkara’s words were, right? Only if Spoony had told him, or if those goggles gave him magnetic x-ray vision that allowed him to spot the words through Linkara’s jacket…

No. Focus. There was another killer robot to kill, another hand-to-hand battle to fight, and then the usual patching-up to do. And Spoony knew not to say it, no matter what sort of condition Linkara was in when he got back, and even if this was going to be the last battle Linkara ever fought, he knew that he hadn’t said Spoony’s words that morning, so this wasn’t goodbye for them.

It couldn’t be goodbye for them.

*

That battle wasn’t goodbye.

The next battle wasn’t goodbye. Nor was the one after that.

Linkara wondered if he could keep this up for years, fighting Insano then going back to Spoony. He wondered if Spoony would be able to prevent himself from saying it forever, not until the time came for them to part.

He did wonder why Insano’s spontaneous acts of villainy were increasing in frequency. Was he trying to force them to say goodbye, or did he just really like fighting? And if he was trying to break them up, why? What reason could Insano have?

He never really expected an answer. Not until the day that the battle went on for hours, well into the night, and ended with Linkara and Insano on the living room floor.

“Keys,” Linkara growled, pushing Insano’s wrists down into the floor.

“Why should I?” Insano spat, and something in his voice was…different. Angrier than usual.

“Keys, Insano,” Linkara insisted. “Before I have to hurt you.”

“You hurt me enough,” Insano muttered.

Linkara growled low in his throat. “Insano…”

“Fine.” Insano wrenched a hand free and produced the keys. “Happy?”

Linkara didn’t answer. He grabbed the keys and set about shutting down Insano’s device.

“And now I suppose it will be as usual,” Insano said. “You defeat me, haul me back home, then go fuck my landlord all night.”

“You got a better suggestion?”

Insano stared for a moment before he got up off the floor. “Yes,” he said. “I’m leaving.”

Linkara stopped what he was doing. “What?”

“I’m done here. I’m tired of this. I’m leaving and I’m not coming back.”

Linkara stared. “But…” He didn’t know what he wanted to say. Insano was his enemy, the constant thorn in his side, the most obnoxious person in the world…yet Linkara didn’t want him to leave. “I thought…”

“I can’t…we fight, you fuck him, we do it again next week. I can’t handle it anymore.”

“Why not?” Linkara asked. “Why won’t I see you again?”

Insano met his eye. “You really don’t know?”

Linkara shook his head.

There was a moment of silence before Insano looked up. “I love you.”

The breath seemed to be knocked out of Linkara’s lungs. He stared at Insano, feeling like everything had just stopped, even though Linkara had never realized it had started…

They stared at each other for a long moment. Linkara didn’t know what to say, didn’t know what he was supposed to do, didn’t know why that simple sentence felt like good-bye…

But he did. He did know, and he knew that it was final, that he had just lost everything, and he didn’t know how to respond.

Finally, after an age, Linkara blinked back tears and looked back at Insano. “I’m sorry.”

Insano nodded, like it had been what he expected to hear. He turned and walked out the door, leaving Linkara dazed and confused under a crushing weight of loss.

*

He went back to Spoony out of habit. He knew that this wasn’t where he was meant to be, not really.

But it still felt right.

Spoony looked up. “Everything done?” he asked.

Linkara swallowed. “Yeah,” he said. “It’s done.”

Spoony glanced over Linkara’s shoulder. “Insano?”

“Gone,” Linkara said. “Spoony…you know the thing I’ve told you not to say?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you say it?”

Spoony stared for a moment before he smiled a bit. “I love you.”

It didn’t sound like goodbye from him.

From Spoony, it sounded like hello.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Scraped Clean And Rewritten](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11787348) by [Ningikuga](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ningikuga/pseuds/Ningikuga)




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